the simple click..

today was gorgeous.. sunny with the slight breeze that makes you even more grateful for the impending season, grateful for my comfy sweater choice that kept me at just the perfect internal temperature.. walking outside today I felt like something special was in my future.

It is not a shock to those really close to me that this semester and the change in roommates was really hard on me. I have been blessed to make some of my greatest best friends simply from the fate of random roommate assignments. My life would not be what it is now if i didn't have my flamingo girls. It was not until this semester that they finally all moved out, moved on, attending to the things they need to accomplish in life. As much as I am so happy for each of them and where they are at now I had a really hard time adjusting to living with no one that really understood me. No one that got my weird humor, that was able to get me out of any funk, allowed me to wallow on the bad days and helped me make some the best..

My roommates now are different. They are amazing women, talented, and uniquely different than me and thusly I was faced with the decision to either put myself out there or wade out the semester alone. I watched as they all clicked with one another as an outsider wishing for the past to be relived. They are simply a different speed than I am and it took some adjusting to, a conscious decision to make it good again and so I did, I decided to try..

The result, the past two days have simply worked. I can't pin point the reason, I don't know what changed but i felt a click tonight. Tonight, at an amazing concert featuring the one and only Marny Proudfit our wonderfully amazingly talented roommate.. Intermixed into the bobing and people watching, the enjoying and catching my first free t-shirt I finally felt the roommate click set in. It just happened in one of those moments you wish to never forget the mental picture it just felt good and I am so grateful for it.

This last month up in logan will be bitter sweet for me, maybe being my last time living in logan I want to live up every moment before I move on to the next exciting stage in my life. Having roommates to laugh with and connect with will make this possible..

So that click, the small realization that for this last month I have the chance to really enjoy the flamingo house and fill my time with slim in six, treat wars, laughing, and talks.. it brings a smile to my face. Simple and set.

the waiting game..

I am torn tonight..

On one hand I broke one of the goals I care a lot about tonight. The worst part of having to do school work on a sunday is that I could have done this homework that decided to lear it ugly head at me all day today yesterday. Did I? Not in the slightest.. I had good intention to, I even had the time to, but I simply didn't which makes the entire thing worse that I didn't even have a good excuse to break my no homework on sunday commitment but it happened I studied my heart out today and took an exam. Glad it's over and next week is another start!

On the most opposite side.. I'm done! Done! DONE!!! with my papers that is.. I had my stake president's interview today and am so glad to be blessed with amazing men that take pride in fulfilling their callings to help me in this process. It seems like just yesterday I made the decision to really truly go but it is now here and all I have left to do is wait. Wait for a place and a date, stuff that will change the progression of pretty much everything from here on out. The word stoked is an understatement.. as of now I am not dying in lack of patience but I'm sure that feeling is to come in the next couple weeks, for now I am just happy! Happy to be waiting and happy for the realization of only five weeks left of school!

Today was good to me.

thoughts of the day..

though not very excited to see snow this morning, enjoying one of my absolute favorite things to observe {snow covered trees, every limb, every branch.. BEautiful!!} made it entirely worth it AND it's all melted now! Spring is coming!!

i never knew I was so connected with my laptop till I sadly left it in sandy from my trip home! needless to say I am taking high advantage of the library computers this week.

enjoying every moment of my justin bieber jam out sitting in the middle of the library realizing that i don't care one bit he is a teeny bopper star sensation, he is adorable and talented and I am proud to know I am still a child at heart!!

one interview left in the process!! I am stoked probably just as much as I am sickeningly nervous, a fun process to say the least.

blown away at the strength both her and her have that inspire me to no end. I am so blessed with great friends, and I realize I have said that in probably every post I have done and probably will for the rest of them but it is true I feel bad for others that lack the love, example, and laughter that come from having best friends.

hope you are enjoying the wonderfullness that is this Tuesday cause..

"you smile.. I smile.. :)"

mind over matter..

I started today with high hopes, a rev of energy that allowed me to wake up extra early to cram in a little extra studying for an exam, scripture reading, and my favorite cereal breakfast.

Then things went downhill..

Packing my lunch for the day made me late for the exam

On the hike up suicide hill my outfit decided to malfunction causing regret in my choice of apparel

Realizing my weekend purse clean out left me without a necessary pencil

Finding a pencil, I was stumped by the first 10 questions regarding a lame scenario

Staying till I was the second to last person in the room staring at the scenario trying to figure out what I was missing

Instantly realizing it was St. Patrick's day when entering work and feeling more regret in my outfit decision

Discovering my mp3 player was dead leaving me with no music..

With all of this on my mind I started to doubt the day, what it had in store for me. I started determining the other bad things about the day, how much I had to do etc.. but then I caught myself.

Instead of slipping into accepting a drab, bad day I decided to fight it. I decided to say no to all of the stupid thoughts swirling in my brain and pick out the good things. I chose to make today a great day, and I was successful!

Once work was over I headed to another class and found myself smiling through the boring lecture. I highly enjoyed the sandwich that had made me late only hours previously grateful I had something to eat. I soaked in all of the spiritual goodness my amazing institute class had to offer me discovering the true power that is shown through the restoration. Stopping at the computer lab to print an assignment I was emailed the news that I got a 95% on that test that had so horribly tried to dampen my day and enjoyed a phone call to my papa that left me feeling special that he loved me enough to remember I had an exam that morning. My last class had me laughing for an entire hour, happy that I am in a major with such awesome professors that I have gotten to know so well. On my way home I chose to take back the regret over my outfit choice, happy I discovered the practicality in addition to the fashionableness of tucking in shirts.

Finished with classes I chose to reward myself. Too often I forget to allow myself to simply do something just because, just for me, no one else. I returned home enjoyed a delightful snack, put on my sunglasses, rolled down the windows in my car, turned on fabulous music radiating the appreciative mood I was in and landed myself at the D.I. in the search for a new mug. Outside was beautiful, I took the time to notice the birds and the blue of the sky filling in the space left by the happy white clouds. Soaking in some of the first glimpses of spring I realized that I could have missed this. I could have chosen to sulk, chosen to nit-pick and endure another boring day but I didn't.

I chose to be happy.

I chose to be grateful.

I chose to enjoy and smile and appreciate and live life the way that everyday should be lived. Attitude is what you make it to be, no matter what happens we are in control!

I succeeded in my pursuit, I actual quadrupled it. I perused and appreciated the neat things all around the store till I landed at my favorite dishes isle. My mug collection may seem silly, insignificant to another but for me it brings such a smile to my face to find one I love, to find unique treasures with their own story behind them. While sorting through the options I came across one with the words, "Today can be the start of something good" it fit so perfectly with my day that I had to buy it, another had another cute quote written inside of it, thusly I left the store beaming. To further my good mood I made the choice to attend a fireside that filled me with more goodness, noticing all of the amazing strong young adults that there are in logan and experience immense appreciation for my personal knowledge of the gospel and decision to serve a mission in the future.

Today was a good day and I made it that way. I was reminded of the power that I hold, the power in the decision of attitude and how truly great my life is at this moment.

rejuvenation..

spring break is a wonderful idea, whoever came up with it is a genius.

this week was simple but perfect!

the only plans I had when the week began were doctor appointments and getting my wisdom teeth out, not very exciting or promising but my week with no school was full of the simple kind of fun, the relaxing happy moments that know how to rejuvenate a person for the rest of the semester.

beginning with the bieber movie I proceeded to enjoy a wonderfully uplifting sunday full of messages of womanhood and the not so prideful self love we must have for ourselves in addition to a small photo shoot downtown for my missionary papers. To be able to see all of the sister missionaries so happy and willing to share I was stoked to be this far into the process. The girls enjoyed the visiting center and the fountain and though it was freezing and a little rainy it was a great outing.

Monday and Tuesday I could have been productive but I chose not to, I instead ran errands with my father enjoying some lovely daddy daughter bonding time and relaxed with my mom watching reruns and cooking.

Wednesday was an accomplishment for me. I don't love sushi I have had it twice previously and enjoyed it but only because I was along for the activity but for some reason I was craving it last week. My best friend was more than happy to help me full fill my craving and coincidentally Sam had a hankering for it also thus Wednesday night I enjoyed a delicious Mexican roll as Shogun after a fun little adventure of navigating through the confusing U of U campus to find the lovely miss Jess.

Thursday was the most eventful, I was poked and prodded at my physical with no food or water to keep me satisfied then whisked into my wisdom teeth surgery. I hate dentists they make me nervous and walking into a little surgery room where all of the medicines and utensils and scary looking things organized and ready for me freaked me out. I was one of those patients that nervously tries to make small talk with the dumbest questions I could think of. The worrying was for nothing as it turns out, after waking up and failing to be able to talk I returned home with a delicious spoon me and rested the rest of the day while envying my entire family and their cafe rio dinner. Another event that transpired thursday was the arrival of my aunt sheri! Oh how I love her!

The rest of the weekend was a blur of pain and medication and a whole bunch of cooking! I was lucky enough to not have the huge cheeks syndrome that comes after most wisdom teeth surgeries and therefore was lucky enough to be able to enjoy a little bit of the delicious things me and my aunt whipped up.

My family is Sicilian meaning we love food. My aunt is very talented at cooking and therefore the entire weekend was full of cooking shows and food discussions and grocery store runs, cupcakes and meat sauce, creme brulee and manicotti all from scratch! literally the shells for the manicotti were hand made by me! It was amazing! I have never had so much fun in the kitchen I got to enjoy bonding with my aunt more than I ever have before discussing my mission and life at home and old memories of my dad and growing up. It was rejuvenating.

* THE absolute best cupcake you will ever eat in your entire life.. DIVINE smores cupcake!

My best friends also came to see me being the sweet people they are. Bearing ice cream and hugs, even a new mug for my collection! We were able to catch up and be entertained by two hyper little children. I honestly love them I don't know how else to put it, I am so very grateful for their short visit and their amazing friendship.

I extended my spring break for one extra day on monday since class was canceled and I was having such a good time at home, it was another simple day with my family but that is what I enjoy most. I am a home body, I love my family and enjoy simply being around them even if does not involve an elaborate activity.

I loved my spring break! I am happy to be back to a routine but I loved my spring break and it proved very effective in it's purpose.

I am rejuvenated.

sincerity..

sincerity [sin-ser-i-tee] : a person lacking deceit or hypocrisy,

a trait that i find most admirable in the people around me.

Sadly more and more often this attribute is lost in trying to save face or seem cool but I was reminded yesterday by a long lost friend how lovely this trait can be.

I have this friend, and truth be told my first year of college I had a hidden crush on him but that is because this boy is sincere.

This boy has the kindest heart I have ever seen, he is a true romantic, adorably cute, hardworking.. this boy is a catch when it boils down to it but it all ties back to his sincere heart.

Yesterday I ran into him. Me being the awkward person I am will admit that I sometimes avoid old friends in fear that they do not want to talk to me, but this friend, with his kind heart stopped just so that he could talk with me. We commenced on our way to school talking and catching up easily, simply, it was refreshing.

The experience brightened the rest of my day so that I was able to entirely enjoy..

[a] listening to music and proudly walking home with sass knowing that no one else could hear the music i was jamming to.

[b] blasting and belting my favorite tunes with windows down and sunglasses on soaking in the sunny weather

[c] consuming my favorite food with lovely, friendly conversation

[d] falling deeply and madly in love with justin bieber viewing the wonderfulness of "Never Say Never"

[e] having a justin bieber concert of our very own in the car

[f] visiting old friends and making new ones in a city down south..

it was a good day, all the way through..

sincere friends are the best of friends and I am grateful to have many of them..

breakfast at tiffanys..

{image from: http://getglamourlicious.blogspot.com/2010/12/rave-breakfast-at-tiffanys.html}

One of my most favorite shows. audrey hepburn is beautiful, completely and utterly beautiful. Her co star also just as handsome. The hope and love throughout the movie fills up my heart every time. Tonight i let myself immerse into the trouble free world that is breakfast at tiffanys where nothing bad could ever happen. All too often i find myself, like holly, putting myself in my own cage, creating my own obstacles and holding back lovely things that would bless my life.

i don't have a wonderful paul varjek though i intend to find one someday..

for now i must let myself out of my own cage and do what i know is right for me..

{image from: http://acottageindustry.typepad.com/a_cottage_industry/2008/02/breakfast-at-tr.html}

As i pondered the movie tonight and the bliss that fills tiffany and company's walls for miss holly golightly i realized i do have a place like that i can find it here. This wonderful place i visited today and after enjoying these lovely words of inspiration, kind words from this person in a wonderful letter, and my own musing of thoughts that poured into my heart on sunday i felt that birdcage come crumbling down. I no longer am caged in and man it feels lovely! Doubt and faith can never coexist.. so i am choosing faith.